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CabbitGirl
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Name: bob
Gender: Female
Interests: I'm an avid Photographer and a huge supporter of a band called Parental Advisory from Jackson, New Jersey. I'm 17, I've had my job since the day after my 16th birthday. I like it there. Soon I'll be on the road without a permit, but a license. Restricted, yes, but it still allows me to drive by myself. I love skateboarding, and going to concerts. Both of those are always better with friends =3
Occupation: Cashier
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  DarkAngelSaturn0
Yahoo:  ohkichan195
Member Since:
5/3/2004
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| my mind is a very confusing thing. random people just pop in and out of my mind. i havent seen these people in a long time. first, i watch certain videos and listen to a certain CD and cant help but miss him. hes not in that band anymore but i cant help myself from listening to it over and over and missing the days i went to go see him play shows. my friend shares the same feeling, but i dont understand why i just think of him all of a sudden sometimes. she talks him more than i do. i get the feeling he wants nothing to do with me anymore. we used to have long conversations, but he just doesnt bother anymore. we only talk for about 5 minutes all together if i IM him online.. and he doesnt return my texts, so i guess i caught the hint.
theres something even more bizarre though... theres a guy who was in my dream last night who i havent been in contact with for a very long time. the last time i saw him was freshman year of highschool. we werent even friends for that long... i mean seriously, i dont know why. i think it was back in february that i suddenly had the feeling he was back in my town.. i thought i was seeing him everywhere... and that caused me to go looking for his myspace again, and i messaged him to see what was up. we talked for about 2 messages and stopped again. then for no good reason he pops up in my dream. >_< i just dont know.
i really wish i could just find someone to distract me so i dont torture myself like this anymore...
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| its so stupid. yet, i cant seem to fucking forget that stupid bullshit that went down just a few weeks back... FUCK! i hate the fact that i sit here and think of the fucking songs you used to sing along to in your car and to me and all our friends at parties... your fucking favorites... i fucking listen to them and they make me want to cry. I DONT FUCKING CRY FOR STUPID FUCKING REASONS AND YOU DONT DESERVE MY TEARS OR MY FORGIVENESS SO WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL UPSET
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| i'm hurting one of my friends by merely existing... god dammit >_< i fucking hate it. i mean ya, i knew he liked me, i figured it out from all the hints he dropped.... i played dumb for a while, but i didnt let it hinder our friendship like he was afraid it would. i didnt want to stop being friends with him, but just recently i stumbled upon his feeling son accident (which was pretty much his fault) through a conversation he had with his friend who likes him. he's pretty much in my position... and just my fucking existence makes them both feel inadequate. FUCK! i mean god damn, i think i might fucking cry.... its out of my control and i cant do anything to make it better! i cant do jack shit to help my friend because im the fucking problem!!! i cant change my feelings, which means i cant help resolve the fucking problem.... and the second i go out with someone im going to fucking hurt him even more >_< i might actually fucking cry.
this sucks.
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| ok. today was a GOOD day. it really was...... but ive been SO PISSED OFF AND ANGRY FOR NO REASON. I do not have any reason to be pissed -_-
it was an awkward day to begin with. i usually let me alarm go off 2 or 3 times because i cant wake up in the morning... ever.. today? well, i woke up before my alarm and was awake. so ya. i just got up thinking wtf.... thats weird. i put my contacts in, straitened my hair, brushed my teeth... ya. dont usually get to do all that either >_> went off to school. almost killed my sewing teacher today. she was freaking me out. i bugged out on her. she kept coming up and looking over my shoulder and i HATE that... i told her "HOLY SHIT get the fuck away from me, youre freaking me out! stop looking over my shoulder (>_O)' " and she backed up really quick... second period was better... i talked to this new-ish kid zack (i transfered into a new second period so ya, new-ish) and ya, that was a small accomplishment by itself considering hes passed out on the desk everyday and im usually half asleep and not the social to begin with. i got out of second period because of an assembly for seniors too. he was surprised i got up to leave because he didnt know i was a senior :p go figure. lol he thought i was a junior or something. the rest of the day was alright i guess -_- except for english and gym right at the end of the day. i dont know why, but i was ready to fucking kill everything in the surrounding mile around me >_< FOR NO REASON.....
i dunno. fucking bullshit. tomorrow will be better i guess.
- CabbitGirl
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| I'm always going to be here for you
Whether that helps you or not.
I'll always give you an encouraging word, a laugh, a shoulder to cry on, a body to beat on
Whatever you need.
I want to help
But i don't know how.
I just want you to know that you can ask
And I'll answer.
I can help
Just tell me how.
I want to help
Just tell me how....
I feel useless, please let me help
I don't know what to do, you've never needed me to help
And I'm more confused than you are.
I can't help but feel bad
And you tell me not to feel that way
And you get frustrated
And I get frustrated
But I want to find a way to help.
I WANT to. I NEED to.
I love you
I'll always be here for you
This is years of trust, love, betrayal, fights, stupid ideas, long sleepless nights, random words, random houses..
It was all for something.
I cant see you all the time.
We're in 2 different worlds.
Please.... I'm begging you to hold on.
Just hold on a little longer....
It'll get better...
It's all I can say...
It will BE better. you'll see....
Do whatever is necessary....
I love you. I need you more than you think.
You're not a burden, an annoyance, a pest.
You're my other half.
My better half.
Whether you think so or not.
I know you love me too.
Don't worry about me, worry about yourself.
You are more important.
Nothing else matters.
I give a shit.
Don't forget that.
I GIVE A SHIT
I have all the memories stored
And I want to ensure new ones will be there with the past ones.
please...
You'll never go away forever.
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